Ben Franklin wrote a short document on October 1730 called,
“On Conversation.”
I took a couple of minutes to read the document myself, and admittedly, it’s a bit of a heavy read.
Luckily, a philosopher by the name of Jonny Thomson broke it down so we can digest the information better.
He boiled it down to five major mistakes that’ll make you an unlikeable person, which are:
1. Talking too much
Because nobody likes a chatterbox that doesn’t know how to shut his or her mouth. There are a few exceptions though. I personally know someone who can talk all day, but I don’t mind listening to him talk simply because he’s so entertaining.
2. Asking too many questions
Another true statement. It’s nice when someone asks you questions, especially about yourself. But it can go too far to the point where it feels like you’re being interrogated.
3. Storytelling
When it comes to this, Franklin was specifically against telling pre-planned stories and telling stories that go into too much detail. I do agree that telling stories that are too detailed isn’t good, but having pre-planned stories isn’t necessarily bad. People in business have pre-planned stories all the time. They have a story on how their business came to be, what led to them starting their business, why they started it, etc.
4. Debating
There’s a snippet that in the document that quotes,
“Say whate’er you will, they’ll be sure to contradict you: and if you go about to give reasons for your opinion, however just they be, or however modestly proposed, you throw them into rage and passion.”
This is another point I’ll have to disagree with. You can have healthy debates with people, depending on how well they keep their emotions in check. Especially in politics and social justice, most people in that world don’t seem to do a good job at that. Besides, in my opinion, having a debate is a lot more engaging, and possibly educational, than having a conversation with yes-men or yes-women.
And finally,
5. Raillery (Or bantering)
Borrowing another big snippet from his document again:
“Raillery is a part of Conversation…it is highly entertaining or exceedingly disobliging, according as it is managed, and therefore we ought to use it with all the Caution possible. Natural Infirmities, unavoidable Misfortunes, Defects, or Deformities of any kind, should never be the Subject of it, for then it is not only impertinent, but affronting and inhuman.”
Translation:
Don’t make fun of others because they either are old, are going through a tough time, have disabilities.
And if you pull up the document itself and read past that snippet, you’ll see that he wrote something that pretty much predicted today’s cancel culture.
Interesting things indeed.
Keep these in mind because they’re good lessons that can help you become a better business person and marketer.
And if you want to learn how to be a better marketer, specifically in email, my book, How to Become an Email Titan, will teach you.
Here’s the link to get the book.